It's All Relational
August 13th 2007 03:34
It was supposed to be a rip off of something that Alfred Einstein once said. It wasn't funny, but it was fairly nerdy.
Over the past few days, Natalie and I have been talking a lot about our relationship and how it is developing. And I think it is developing so well BECAUSE we are talking about it. A good friend of mine, that does at times post on here, Dazz said that most marriages break down because of two things. Sex and money. I don't think it helps if the couple refuses to talk about them to one another. A lot of the awkward things that we think our partner might not want to know, or that we might not want to tell them are things that we really should tell them. It isn't always comfortable and it isn't always fun, but it does help a relationship grow amazingly well to have the two people in it talk about it. The small things we ignore or simply bury do tend to bring in a fairly destructive harvest.
The other thing that I have seen/heard is important to getting a relationship to work well is patience and seeking understanding. I'll admit, I don't completely understand her and I am not sure if I ever will. Which doesn't mean I am not going to try (I am going to do my best) but it does mean that I am going to do so with as little frustration as possible. A small problem is a small problem which doesn't have to become a big argument. My future with her is worth more than scoring points in a "you're wrong, I'm right" situation.
Any thoughts?
JZ
Over the past few days, Natalie and I have been talking a lot about our relationship and how it is developing. And I think it is developing so well BECAUSE we are talking about it. A good friend of mine, that does at times post on here, Dazz said that most marriages break down because of two things. Sex and money. I don't think it helps if the couple refuses to talk about them to one another. A lot of the awkward things that we think our partner might not want to know, or that we might not want to tell them are things that we really should tell them. It isn't always comfortable and it isn't always fun, but it does help a relationship grow amazingly well to have the two people in it talk about it. The small things we ignore or simply bury do tend to bring in a fairly destructive harvest.
The other thing that I have seen/heard is important to getting a relationship to work well is patience and seeking understanding. I'll admit, I don't completely understand her and I am not sure if I ever will. Which doesn't mean I am not going to try (I am going to do my best) but it does mean that I am going to do so with as little frustration as possible. A small problem is a small problem which doesn't have to become a big argument. My future with her is worth more than scoring points in a "you're wrong, I'm right" situation.
Any thoughts?
JZ
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Comment by Anonymous
Comment by JoshZ
A Simple Christian
sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you.
Yeah, winning for the sake of winning often means you actually lose.
JZ
Comment by Winston
Small Thoughts on Big Questions
That's the extent of my advice, total honesty and openness. Brilliant, eh?
Comment by JoshZ
A Simple Christian
I know. The good thing is that me and Nata tend to revert to talking about everything as our default behaviour.
Being open and honest with each other is what brings us closer together. No heart is as beautiful as one opened for one's beloved.
Glad to see you friend,
JZ