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It's All Relational

It was supposed to be a rip off of something that Alfred Einstein once said. It wasn't funny, but it was fairly nerdy.

Over the past few days, Natalie and I have been talking a lot about our relationship and how it is developing. And I think it is developing so well BECAUSE we are talking about it. A good friend of mine, that does at times post on here, Dazz said that most marriages break down because of two things. Sex and money. I don't think it helps if the couple refuses to talk about them to one another. A lot of the awkward things that we think our partner might not want to know, or that we might not want to tell them are things that we really should tell them. It isn't always comfortable and it isn't always fun, but it does help a relationship grow amazingly well to have the two people in it talk about it. The small things we ignore or simply bury do tend to bring in a fairly destructive harvest.

The other thing that I have seen/heard is important to getting a relationship to work well is patience and seeking understanding. I'll admit, I don't completely understand her and I am not sure if I ever will. Which doesn't mean I am not going to try (I am going to do my best) but it does mean that I am going to do so with as little frustration as possible. A small problem is a small problem which doesn't have to become a big argument. My future with her is worth more than scoring points in a "you're wrong, I'm right" situation.



Any thoughts?



JZ

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4 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]
1. August 13th 2007 @ 05:21. Anonymous Says:
for someone I know to enjoy scoring points in a "you're wrong, I'm right" situation, it makes me smile to hear you blog about this!
2. August 17th 2007 @ 14:49. JoshZ Says:
Hey Anon,

sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you.

Yeah, winning for the sake of winning often means you actually lose.

JZ
3. August 20th 2007 @ 20:30. Winston Says:
Hi Josh. It isn't just sex and money that need to be talked about openly for a marriage to work, it's EVERYTHING. Marriage is a partnership. The ones I've seen fail have been the ones in which both parties were not both fully, equally invested in all aspects. The ones that have flourished (I'm happy to count myself here thus far) are the ones in which their is deep friendship and openness. You must both be willing to hear about your faults (in a constructive manner) as well as your good points, and you must be willing to work on them mutually. Secrets and distrust kill relationships, as does refusal to acknowledge problems when they arise.

That's the extent of my advice, total honesty and openness. Brilliant, eh?
4. August 22nd 2007 @ 23:34. JoshZ Says:
Hey WInston,

I know. The good thing is that me and Nata tend to revert to talking about everything as our default behaviour.

Being open and honest with each other is what brings us closer together. No heart is as beautiful as one opened for one's beloved.

Glad to see you friend,

JZ

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