Rev. Dustin ParkerThe Most Terrible Thing........
I apologise to Adrian that I will not be answering his question with this post, but this has been on my mind for awhile now.
There is only one terrible thing that a christian is permitted to conciously plan to do to any enemy that he has. It may shock you all that there is someone that I don't like. And when I say don't like, I mean I truly dislike. In fact, that does not even cover it. I really cannot stand this person, they make my fists itch. I suppose the next question you would have for me is why?
It would take far too long to list all the reasons that I dislike this person and it would be in bad taste to speak of them in such a public setting. I won't name him nor give an account of the things that this person has done that has earned such an amount of wrath from me. If you are someone that goes to church with me and you are in my life to a high degree you more than likely know this person's name and might have even heard or been there for some of the story. You might agree with this terrible thing that I am about to do, and you might need some arguement in order to agree. With that said I find I have no other choice BUT to do this terrible thing.
I am going to forgive them.
Why is forgiving people such a terrible thing to do to them? The Bible has quite an interesting scripture in it that concerns this:
Romans 12:20 "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
To clarify, I am not saying this guy is evil, but what he did in many cases was the wrong thing to do. It caused me alot of pain and almost caused me to leave the church. That is a slight digression, but I am hoping you will bear with me. The reason forgiving people is a terrible thing to do to them is because to say to someone, "You have hurt me, caused me pain, whether you meant it or not. But I forgive you." boils down to one simple thing. That they have done the wrong thing and for this someone else is suffering the consequences.
Now, aside from an apology, hopefully this leads to a bunch of things, though not in a very pretty way. It will cause them to feel shamed, but in a good way (there is such a thing as good shame). It forces them to be accountable with their actions, to be responsible with their words. It will hopefully lead the person that has been forgiven to become more responsible, more thoughtful, more caring to other people. It will also, hopefully, lead to two people getting a better understanding of each other.
JZ
There is only one terrible thing that a christian is permitted to conciously plan to do to any enemy that he has. It may shock you all that there is someone that I don't like. And when I say don't like, I mean I truly dislike. In fact, that does not even cover it. I really cannot stand this person, they make my fists itch. I suppose the next question you would have for me is why?
It would take far too long to list all the reasons that I dislike this person and it would be in bad taste to speak of them in such a public setting. I won't name him nor give an account of the things that this person has done that has earned such an amount of wrath from me. If you are someone that goes to church with me and you are in my life to a high degree you more than likely know this person's name and might have even heard or been there for some of the story. You might agree with this terrible thing that I am about to do, and you might need some arguement in order to agree. With that said I find I have no other choice BUT to do this terrible thing.
I am going to forgive them.
Why is forgiving people such a terrible thing to do to them? The Bible has quite an interesting scripture in it that concerns this:
Romans 12:20 "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
To clarify, I am not saying this guy is evil, but what he did in many cases was the wrong thing to do. It caused me alot of pain and almost caused me to leave the church. That is a slight digression, but I am hoping you will bear with me. The reason forgiving people is a terrible thing to do to them is because to say to someone, "You have hurt me, caused me pain, whether you meant it or not. But I forgive you." boils down to one simple thing. That they have done the wrong thing and for this someone else is suffering the consequences.
Now, aside from an apology, hopefully this leads to a bunch of things, though not in a very pretty way. It will cause them to feel shamed, but in a good way (there is such a thing as good shame). It forces them to be accountable with their actions, to be responsible with their words. It will hopefully lead the person that has been forgiven to become more responsible, more thoughtful, more caring to other people. It will also, hopefully, lead to two people getting a better understanding of each other.
JZ
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Good luck with it all, I am not too fond of pacsfism (can't even spell it out right
Flashes of memories
Good luck and well done
ash
Yeah, I'd thought of rushing him and beating the crap out of him, but it somehow seemed lacking in charity.
As far as pacifism goes, it isn't really a form of pacifism. I do believe in defending myself, and those that I love.
But like I said, this is the worst thing that a christian can conciously plot against someone.
JZ
Philosophy Blog
A quick thought: you come from a position where you talk about people taking responsibility for their actions.
I'm inclined to believe the opposite -- that if you really understand someone, you realize they have little choice in what they do -- their behaviour is a result of their psychology, their upbringing, their experiences, etc.
And coming from this "no choice" position, it can be easier to forgive someone...
No need to apologize! No need to answer at all, actually. I totally understand, for instance, that there are time constraints.
good point. The call it makes on the concience can either be or not be (that being the question), heeded or ignored.
Your point about healing and reconciliation though are well made and recieved.
JZ
yeah, I won't be denying that this has made me stronger (and has helped me realise who isn't my friend) it helped me realise a few things here and there.
I also think that forgiving will help me not dislike this person and will hopefully improve my attitude.
Or I could just rush him one night at church.
JZ
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Also, perhaps this is in bad taste, but given that the US is a Christian nation, maybe a 'pre-emptive strike' would be in order, along with 'shock and awe' tactics, some backpeddling, and finally, a 'surge'?
well, this could lead us to an interesting conversation.
I do believe that upbringing, societal pressures etc, do have an effect on people and influence them. I also believe though, that at the end of the day, man also has to make decisions and be responsible for the consequences thereof.
JZ
p.s. Not only will I post about the other thing but now you have me thinking about posting about this. Please come back often.
the story is between me, the person involved, and those that are in my inner circle, and hopefully you'll forgive me for not telling you.....
As to the US being a christian nation I would disagree. It is a nation where it is allowable, and in some areas certainly encouraged to be a christian, but not everyone in the nation has accepted Christ as a personal choice. It has a history and even a heritage of christianity, but this doesn't make its society especially christian.
And like I said, if the forgiving doesn't work, I might just tackle the dude after church.
JZ
Hunt Famous
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as for the Christian nation, I think the US IS especially christian, but we have different standards, I suppose.
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
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I totally agree with you and particularly Adrian's point of view here, because once I realised that my monster-in-law was a half-wit, foregiveness was easier ...
I think the question you have to ask yourself is, does my unconditional foregiveness cause me or my loved one's pain? For example, after forgiving, can you continue to inhabit the same sphere as them or not. I could not in my case, becuase like it or not, there are evil people about with malicious intent, half-wits or not... and to do so meant pain and suffering for my children.
I love that you managed to overcome your hatred to heal yourself. Anger only hurts the one who's angry.
I pray that your progress leads to an agreeable compromise for you both.
wishing you peace,
Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
I totally agree with you and particularly Adrian's point of view here, because once I realised that my monster-in-law was a half-wit, foregiveness was easier ...
I think the question you have to ask yourself is, does my unconditional foregiveness cause me or my loved one's pain? For example, after forgiving, can you continue to inhabit the same sphere as them or not. I could not in my case, becuase like it or not, there are evil people about with malicious intent, half-wits or not... and to do so meant pain and suffering for my children.
I love that you managed to overcome your hatred to heal yourself. Anger only hurts the one who's angry.
I pray that your progress leads to an agreeable compromise for you both.
wishing you peace,
Lilla
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
The funny thing is that I don't think he is a half wit (though certainly lacking in perception) and I don't think he is malicious (a little over zealous perhaps and lacking in empathy) which makes it both easier and harder to forgive. As GK Chesterton said "one cannot help but be mad at a good man in the wrong, one calls for his blood!" (The Ball and The Cross). But because I think he is a good person, or at least has the potential to be so, I expect better from him.
I figure if I had remained angry, it would have lead to two people getting hurt. Me and him. In different ways, but there would have been pain.
Come back any time Lilla.
JZ
I won't deny the amount of influence fundamentalist christians have on society in that country.
I also won't say that it is all good influence.
But at the same time, these are not the only influences in America.
Which I won't say is a bad thing.
JZ