The Problem of Pain.....
May 19th 2007 12:29
Is not only that it hurts, but that sometimes, we hold onto it for too long.
Pain can be good, where it teaches us something. But resentment, bitterness, unforgiveness. These things tend to hurt the person doing the hating more than the person you are hating.
A man named Booker T Washington once said "You can only hold a man down if you are ready to stay down with him." Awhile back on here I posted about how I forgave someone alot of wrongs that they had done. Had I forgiven them? Yes. Did I still feel the hurt? Did I still want to repay them, eye for eye, tooth for tooth? No, I wanted more than one eye and as many teeth as possible. Not a good attitude.
That kind of anger and hate for someone would have only burned me out. I'm glad it is behind me.
JZ
Pain can be good, where it teaches us something. But resentment, bitterness, unforgiveness. These things tend to hurt the person doing the hating more than the person you are hating.
A man named Booker T Washington once said "You can only hold a man down if you are ready to stay down with him." Awhile back on here I posted about how I forgave someone alot of wrongs that they had done. Had I forgiven them? Yes. Did I still feel the hurt? Did I still want to repay them, eye for eye, tooth for tooth? No, I wanted more than one eye and as many teeth as possible. Not a good attitude.
That kind of anger and hate for someone would have only burned me out. I'm glad it is behind me.
JZ
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Comment by Anonymous
I don't blame her, though it makes me feel really, really hurt and also angry. Maybe at myself or maybe at her.
Sometimes the problem is wether or not you want to forgive yourself and move on, I find it harder to forgive myself though I don't find it nearly as difficult to forgive others.
Comment by JoshZ
hating yourself doesn't do anyone any favours. Take it from someone that spent alot of time doing it.
Perhaps the best thing you can do is apologise, let her get on with her life and you get on with yours. Forgive yourself and go and be the best man that you can be.
JZ
Comment by Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Excellent point you make. It is quite easy to say you forgive someone but after a while you realise that the pain is still there. Amazing how we manage to bury our emotions... we think they are done and dusted and then they have a tendancy to reappear again...
thought-provoking JZ
ash
Comment by Competitionqueen.com
I tend to hold on to things, therefore forgiveness is easy, forgetting not so..... which begs the question, is it really forgiveness if the pain's still there... hmmm there's one for the philosophers.
Chin up. Live your best life...
Comment by JoshZ
Yeah, I think most people are like that. You SAY that you forgive and then think it is okay to say and feel what you like.
I remember hearing that forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. Not sure where I stand on that one.
Hope you're good,
JZ
Comment by JoshZ
Like I said to Ash, I'm not sure if forgiveness is only a choice and has nothing to do with feeling.
Glad you came by though.
JZ