Unconditional Love
February 21st 2007 11:05
I would like to thank Adrian for what he wrote about unconditional love. It has given me some things to think about. Some of which I will admit, I already knew. Asking "What is Love?" is a post that I have already written (for your knowledge and to make it easier I will sum it up here; Love is a reality) and so I won't go there, but will use this as the foundation of my further thoughts.
One excellent question that I didn't ask in my post is why do we love at all? And this is the big one. Some would say it is a herd instinct, or a tribal one. Some would say that it is linked to our genes and the desire for us to spread our seed. This is a huge question of which I don't really wish to answer here right now. Mainly due to time and space constraints (Adrian, feel free to start something.....) but also due to the fact that it is not the question being asked. So I suppose I ought to ask, can love be unconditional and is it love at all? If love is, like I have said, a reality, then does it conform to the rest of reality? Does it have boundaries, does it have limits?
Adrian's post was very centered around the kind of love that is so similar to an obsession. Which in part, love is. It is a centering of one's focus and reality upon the thing or person that is loved to varying degrees. But it is not only this type (a fact that was discussed in many comments) for this kind of love is not unconditional. Rather, it is exceptionally conditional. The conditions are that the object pertains strictly to the desires of the lover. If the love were truly unconditional, it would also factor in that the object, or person, is not always going to conform to the wishes of the one that loves them. And would continue to love them anyway.
There is a love that accepts people and demands nothing from them. Some would say that is the perfect love, except that it isn't. Because love bonds and builds, strengthening those that are the beloved. But love is not simply a ruthless desire to breed a champion either. For love can love the hopeless as well. In fact, I have read that if you cannot love those who are unlovable you do not love enough. And to not love those that are not hopeless, to despise those that achieve is a form of self hate. You despise them, because they have done better than you have. We love those that help us, and hopefully, we love that we help (which would explain why we help them). And so by process of elimination, the conditions of love are fairly well plotted out. But by plotting out where the limitations are, we leave it free to go beyond them.
Unconditional love loves those that cannot help themselves, and seeks to help them. It loves when you succeed and when you fail. It seeks to build you, to strengthen you and to help you through the times that you really need it. There is not time at which it is not available. The only condition there might be to this love, is how much of it we are prepared to accept, if we are prepared to accept it at all.
JZ
One excellent question that I didn't ask in my post is why do we love at all? And this is the big one. Some would say it is a herd instinct, or a tribal one. Some would say that it is linked to our genes and the desire for us to spread our seed. This is a huge question of which I don't really wish to answer here right now. Mainly due to time and space constraints (Adrian, feel free to start something.....) but also due to the fact that it is not the question being asked. So I suppose I ought to ask, can love be unconditional and is it love at all? If love is, like I have said, a reality, then does it conform to the rest of reality? Does it have boundaries, does it have limits?
Adrian's post was very centered around the kind of love that is so similar to an obsession. Which in part, love is. It is a centering of one's focus and reality upon the thing or person that is loved to varying degrees. But it is not only this type (a fact that was discussed in many comments) for this kind of love is not unconditional. Rather, it is exceptionally conditional. The conditions are that the object pertains strictly to the desires of the lover. If the love were truly unconditional, it would also factor in that the object, or person, is not always going to conform to the wishes of the one that loves them. And would continue to love them anyway.
Unconditional love loves those that cannot help themselves, and seeks to help them. It loves when you succeed and when you fail. It seeks to build you, to strengthen you and to help you through the times that you really need it. There is not time at which it is not available. The only condition there might be to this love, is how much of it we are prepared to accept, if we are prepared to accept it at all.
JZ
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Comment by Adrian
Philosophy Blog
You can act as if you do love people, or God. You can obey God, help people, etc.
But will the actions create the love?
Comment by JoshZ
A Simple Christian
as always your question is both honest and interesting.
Thanks.
CS Lewis once said (I am paraphrasing but this is the gist of it) that to practise acts of hate against someone would lead you to hate that person even more than you did to start, where to practise loving someone would actually grow that love. That is fairly true, but it could only be true if there was a kind of love there to begin with. I speak in the christian sense now when I say that as a christian develops their love and relationship with God, they also (from what I have seen and grown in myself) develop their love and relationship with and for people.
So in a way, yes.
JZ
Comment by Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Because if you do not know how to love how can you accept being loved?
Thought provoking....
ash
Comment by JoshZ
A Simple Christian
I think for me though the hardest part of accepting unconditional love is to be always remembering that it is not simply the forgiveness of sins that goes with it, but the justification of the sinner.
That might be another post.....
Glad to see you here Ash.
JZ
Comment by Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
ash